Getting a little bit personal.

I want to write a really personal blog entry. But I'm not sure how to proceed.

My life has taken so many changes in the last few years, I'm not where I thought I'd be, but perhaps I'm where I need to be.  Along the way has included a lot of ups and downs, medication, self medication, no medication but misery,  a lot of loneliness and a lot of wonderful friends made, lost and refound and kept.

I finally found my place where depression is not welcome, but sometimes comes in uninvited.  I might only allow him to stay for a day before pulling on my running shoes and challenging him to keep up.  But sometimes he will stay for longer, taking a part of me, turning it to stone and locking me into my own head, leaving me feeling that I've lost part of myself along with the car keys.

He's been visiting for the last 20 years of my life and I am only just learning to accept that I have to acknowledge my occasional visitor, I just don't welcome him with wine anymore and but insist we have an early night.

My ego is of a size that I want to make my world about me and in learning to accept myself for who and what I am.   I've also come to the realisation that if anyone chooses not to accept who I am then I can't do anything about that, because that is more about the other person than it is about me.

While I don't let this part of my life define who I am, it is after all, just an extra with one line, I'll talk to anyone who wants to chat more about this subject and how it affects the lives of those around us.

Summer 2012

Kampa Museum, Prague.

Its all been quiet on the blogging front this summer, mainly because I have been having a FANTASTIC holidays.  In the last couple of months I have run the Race for Life, raising money for cancer research uk, taken my kids climbing and horse riding, started yoga classes, been to Prague with my five very clever and talented sisters, been to Wales to visit my parents and spent lots of time on the beach.  I have also set a five year plan of moving back to North Wales to be nearer the sea.

I have also been researching where I want to go next with my life, I have become disillusioned with the art world and got fed up of trying to promote myself and 'make it' within the art scene.  Not anyone's fault, I just don't like having to promote myself.

So after a summer of soul searching and reading and walking, I realised that I love creativity more than I love fine art.  I enjoy the actual making, but really not that concerned with the piece after that.  I don't know how to value my work in monetary terms, because money isn't a priority in my life, even though I do need it for bills, food etc....

This led to me deciding to enrol on a Mindfulness and Life Coaching course, I want to combine this knowledge with creativity and work with other people exploring how creativity can be used for positive purposes.  So from being fairly disillusioned, I am now boinging with energy and excitement over the future and what it will bring.  I'm not giving up my own artwork, but will be making purely for the pleasure of making without having the pressure of selling and promoting myself.

Kutna Hora

Kutna Hora