Decision & Indecision

I've had an incredibly busy time the last couple of weeks.  From preparing for the Derbyshire Open Arts to going down to London to pick up my painting from the Vibe Gallery to helping organise an Arts Trail in my own town and make some work to show at for it.  I have also taken on the job of co-ordinating a Well Dressing design for another local festival. I'm also trying to get fit by running which is also producing some artwork.

This has left my head in a bit of a spin with the realisation of several things I don't like doing. 

My major discovery is that I don't like selling face to face to the public. I'm far too shy and introverted to enjoy approaching strangers, I can do it, but the emotional effort is just too much and leaves me feeling thoroughly exhausted.  I also find it disheartening and does not help my fragile self esteem.  Even though over the Open weekend, I had some fascinating conversations with people, I still find the overall anxiety too much.

I am not a confident person and am constantly plagued with self doubt, so having to sell directly to people does not do me any favours.  I'm aware that this is true of a lot of creative people.

So I decided to investigate another possible stream of income, by looking into the greetings cards industry.  I've been making doodley cards and have a friend who used to have an agent for selling her designs and I'm meeting her for coffee next week for some advice.

Another way could be to find some commercial galleries to sell my original paintings, the challenge being, having to contact them and talk to them. Again, emotionally challenging for me to get over that initial shyness.  This I find rather difficult.

I feel I have come to a point of making some decisions.  To continue trying to make a living within the creative industries or to get a job and just make for my own enjoyment and therapeutic needs.

I've been continuing with the One Drawing a Day book, so here is a couple of my latest drawings, just to relieve from the inner monologue which has just expressed itself.

Dye & Bamboo Pen with Ink.

Maybe Asleep, Oil Pastel & Onion Dye.

River Derwent, Oil Pastel & Bamboo Pen with Ink

Draycott Arts & Gardens Festival, Day 1

I had a really lovely day yesterday at the Draycott Festival.

It's a very relaxed atmosphere at Draycott, its the second time I've taken part and have enjoyed the experience each time.  It feels very friendly and open with no pretensions.  In the garden Stevie Davis has hung some beautiul glasswork on the blossoming tree, looking as though these forms have almost mutated out of the branches.

Fuschia Glasswwork by Stevie Davis

Venue 2, Draycott Arts & Gardens Festival

I was sharing the space with a couple of jewellery makers of very fine and very delicate silverware, I have to admire such patience when making such a delicate item.  Karen Victoria, a mixture of self confessed 50's housewife accompanied by a fear of facepaint.  We were treated to a session by the Guerilla Drummers who set up for a set in the garden and just as we were starting to wind Sophie Snell turned up and told us a beautiful welsh story about ancestry, love and fish. 

I also said goodbye to a painting yesterday and happily sent it off to its new home, where I hope it will be very happy.  My new range of cards are also being well recieved too, having decided I should put my doodling to a good use and produced some cards which I'm pleased with.

So as I sit and listen to yesterday's Desert Island Discs and wait for my coffee to brew, I'm anticipating another lovely relaxed day, with good conversations with visitors and today I shall have to visit the lady at the end of the road who sells CAKE!

Alphabe Thursday - I is for Inspired

I had a list of I's ready for today.

I is for me.
I is for Impasto a painting technique I use lots or
Intaglio for a printing technique I've used.

But I decided to use this opportunity to do some blantent plugging.  So this weeks I is for Inspired for Jenny Matlock's AlphabeThursday blog.

I have been inspired to enter the Race For Life.  For those not in the UK, this is an event that happens yearly across Britain, where women gather together and walk, run or jog to raise money for Cancer Research.  I've done this to raise money, awareness and on a personal level, to get fit!

I would really appreciate any donations to this cause, no matter how small because it all adds up and if you can do this via this link:

My Donations Page

I've got until July to get running, loose at least 4 stone and get healthier.  This is my first public pledge to do this.

And after all that here is a song I have been listening to this morning while painting Mam Tor in Derbyshire.

Scala - Ironic

I am having a very, very full on week.  Last Thursday, my daughter and I went to pick up her french exchange student, who is already a very elegant young lady even at 13.  So the weekend was spent showing her the Derbyshire Countryside and we caught the train to Matlock and walked back over the tors to Matlock Bath.  I took lots of photos of the most stunning views, that I have only driven past, which will provide the inspiration for some new landscape mixed media pieces.  Also found a bonus lovely old door...

I managed to get to a life drawing class last friday and immersed myself back in the flow of drawing.  I haven't done any life drawing for about 8 years, so my first attempt was very small as I had forgotten how to scale up when measuring.  Luckily, my friend who had taken me, hadn't forgotten and was able to show me how to do it properly.  Although the results weren't brilliant, they weren't too bad considering my lack of practice!  Not sure the models leg was really that shape... or that foreshortened, but I really enjoyed loosing myself in the practice of learning to draw again.  I used to be quite good at life drawing so hopefully I can relearn that skill again.

The Flow

When I listened to the TED talk last week by Martin Seligman, he talked about levels of happiness. He talked about three levels that can lead to a happy life. The Pleasant Life - where you get as many pleasures as you can get from external sources, the hedonistic lifestyle. The Good Life - where he talks about stepping into the flow, you become absorbed in what you do and time stops and you become unaware of your feelings. The ultimate is of course the Meaningful Life, where you know your strengths and you use in the service of something higher than you are.

I have definitely have been in the Good Life today, time stopped and I became thoroughly absorbed in my art making, music was playing and I stopped worrying about what I was or wasn't feeling.

So I have come out of my studio at half six on a Sunday evening having been lost in the flow all day, and it feels like a very good life.